英语吧 关注:1,521,603贴子:11,372,871
  • 3回复贴,共1

【翻译批评】上海外国语大学官网英文介绍错误太多

取消只看楼主收藏回复

现居加拿大的英语学人,翻译专家林智华日前撰文,指出号称“官网英语水平超一流”的上海外国语大学,在其英语介绍中,八句英语竟然有六个病句,震惊英语本吧著名网友,你我和隔壁老王!
下面欣赏一下:
原句:SISU is committed to preparing innovative professionals for a wide range of international expertise to address the global challenges.
错误:
1.错用the,将来还不确定的全球挑战,不可以加冠词
2.prepare后的宾语通常是原生态的受训者,而international professionals是已经具备创新能力的专业人才,改用train, cultivate或nurture才合适
(未完待续)


IP属地:广西1楼2024-04-28 16:41回复
    本吧一大特色,不钻研业务,专门讲人是非。
    【病句2】Founded in 1949, SISU is an elite university with an established reputation for foreign studies.
    3.【语义重复】先说Founded后又established,有点车轱辘话,说得好像SISU是因成立得早而建立声誉似的。
    4.【修饰降级】前说elite university翘楚大学,再说established reputation(建立起来的声誉),语义回退还降程度,改为更直接的renowned for(以...著称)。
    5.【原因不确】reputation for foreign studies搞外研不会直接获卓越声誉,应改为更具体的如for its expertise in foreign studies。
    既然SISU那么喜欢established,倒是可以用来替换Founded。改进:孤立短句的句首分词短语Founded in 1949宜改插入语放句中补充说明。
    【修改句2】SISU, established in 1949, is a prestigious university renowned for its expertise in foreign studies.


    IP属地:广西8楼2024-04-29 11:00
    回复
      我就是加拿大的,我承认,你们可以开始表演了。
      3】Explore the history of SISU where China's higher education in foreign languages took shape. (大意:探寻上外发展史,领略中国外语教育高校发展历程。)
      6.【用词笨拙】栏目名有History了,换个词如development(发展)journey(历程)evolution(演化)以呼应后面的where(在...阶段),不香吗?
      7.【用词不当】take shape(开始)形成;体现(成形),成形后的长足发展就不管了?体现可用reflect或embody表达。
      8.【用词不当】where(used to talk about a particular stage in a process, conversation, story etc)用于指(事件过程中的)某个阶段,时间范围很窄,不适合指整个发展史,宜改为which。
      9.【表意不清】China's higher education in foreign languages应该是指外语教育方面。大罐装小罐?逻辑混乱。(高校的)外语教育(core noun核心名词)范围较小,中国高校教育范围更大。英文宜说foreign language education in China's higher education,但两个education扎眼,改为...in China's universities。中文偏好说大的范畴,英文偏向说具体更细的方面。如一定要突出高校,那就改为foreign language institutes in China's high education system/sector.


      IP属地:广西9楼2024-04-29 11:02
      回复
        快来表现一下你的专家水平吧,各位专家
        【病句4】The University is committed to introduce the rest of the world to China and present China globally. [网络考古: 2014.12.14上线至今十年了]
        10/11【语法错误】高中英语commit惯用法commit sb或oneself to (doing) sth委托某人/自己承诺(会去做)某事,或形容词committed惯用句式be committed to (doing) sth致力于(做)某事,to是介词,后跟名词或动词-ing。句中introduce和present应改为introducing和presenting。如要保留不定式,可改用aims to do sth(致力于做某事)句式可解。此句还有几处问题,值得另文再讨论。
        【暂改句4】The University is committed to introducing the rest of the world to China and presenting China globally.
        【插花一】上外菜英文,团队协作何在?同页committed两处,翻译病句1的英语教授的中学英语基本过关够水平纠错病句4的英语教授,叫他请喝武夷岩茶!如果以后他反过来指出你两倍错误,那就让他报仇雪恨、回请他喝两次武夷岩茶!循环往复,上外菜英文就可以打败北外菜英文,重回“英汉语对译全球排名第一”宝座!
        【插花二】大学校长们脑瓜子何在?应该规定,找到一条官网错误奖励一百、罚款责任人菜英文两百!这样就可以滚雪球良性循环,很快小金库保险柜装不下。另外,中文语病也是滚滚财源啊!假以时日,大学就无须拨款了!欧耶!
        【插花三】教育部负责高校的真搞笑,引进辣么多外国专家不管用!应写进合同:每个外国专家每周得找大学英文网十个错误,方可领足额工资,少抓一条虫子扣一千元!不出两年,高校英文将翻天覆地!Simple as (that).


        IP属地:广西10楼2024-04-29 11:05
        回复